There once was a young flamingo, named Jimmy. Jimmy had a great life. Parents who practically threw cash at him, an eager sex toy for a girlfriend, and every video game console know to man. There was just one problem.
Jimmy didn't have an asshole.
Sure, he had an ass. A nice, beautiful, firm, feathery ass. But there was nothing between those tight cheeks. This had never been a problem, until now.
One day Jimmy had just fucked Cassandra, the girlfriend, so hard he eyes were rolling in their sockets. He had the munchies from all the love-making, so he told the bitch to make him a sandwich.
A few minutes later, the greatest sandwich known to man was presented before him. Triple decker peanut butter, no jelly, with the crusts cut off. JIF, not Peter Pan, Creamy style. Jimmy scarfed it down, and whipped out his outrageously cock for seconds of Cassandra.
Hours pass, and Jimmy feels something in his stomach. No, it felt lower. it felt heavy. There was some pressure between those fantastic ass cheeks of his.
Jimmy had to take a dump.
he had never felt this before, so he wasn't quite sure what to do. He disregarded the feeling for the next few days, taking it in stride. Weeks go by, and good ol' Jim consumes sandwich after sandwich. Its been a month since the first urge came, and he feels like he's about to burst.
He's overloaded. He can't think. Jim falls to his knees and then it comes up. Since Jimmy can't shit out his ass, it comes out his mouth. Shit pours onto the floor like a fucking waterfall. The taste is burning his mouth. Solid chunks get stuck in his throat and Jim starts to choke. Their is still a lot of shit left in him, and now both ways are blocked. He starts to bloat. And then it happens.
The investigative team are in awe. A combination of organs, blood, and shit colorfully decorate the walls of Jimmy's living room. The smell is absolutely horrible. The coroner heaves on the floor, adding to the mess Jimmy left behind.
The funeral was closed casket, seeing as how there really was nothing to bury, except for one thing. The only body part recoverable was Jimmy's perfect ass. So the buried that, but not before pampering it up a bit.
The funeral was ok. Some cried, others had sex in Jimmy's old house. There was free beer. In the end, everyone was laughing, and most drank themselves to death, while others went into a coma. One guy had to get a liver transplant. Good fucking party I'd say.
And they all lived happily ever after.